bitty bits

masturbation or masturba-shun…(part 1)

Q. My partner is masturbating, but not having sex with me.  What do I do? A. Rejection, or what feels like rejection is tough.  Within a relationship it’s even tougher in some ways, because there feels like there should be more protections against it, or something.  My number one suggestion…

video: may is masturbation month

is monogamy, for you?

Q. Polyamory: myth, excuse, or saviour?  A.  Maybe 2 out of 3… but it’s definitely not a myth! First, some useful distinctions. Polyamory is when someone has multiple (romantic/sexual) relationships simultaneously - all with the consensual knowledge of those involved. This knowledge may have agreed upon terms unique to individuals/their…

dating app mishap…

Q. I saw someone my friend is dating on a dating app, do I tell them? A. The world becomes super small when reduced to a 5 or 10km radius. It’s inevitable to see people we know - with fewer and fewer degrees of separation  - on dating apps.   With…

is flirting emotional cheating?

Q. I love my partner, but I often get gratification from flirting with other people. I would never cheat, but I feel bad seeking this type of attention - I also get a thrill out of it. Is this emotional cheating A. I’m going to unpack this question in a…

sex skills…

Q. How do you feel more confident in the bedroom, whether you’re single or in a relationship? A.  I’m going to go out on a limb and assume this question is asking about S.E.X and isn’t referring to pajama choices… although, that could play a role in increasing confidence! There…

no such thing as “the friend zone”…

Q. My friend likes me, but I don’t like them back.  How do I shut this down without losing the friendship? A. You might lose the friendship.  At least for a time. I blame rom-coms and fairytales for leading us to believe otherwise.   It’s not to say this isn’t difficult…

the joy of getting off

Q. How do you have a frank discussion with your partner about getting off, if they really aren’t getting the job done.   A. Many of us have been here - I’ve always thought of a lover’s tactics, as a window into what their past lovers have enjoyed (I hope!!!)  This…

dating burn rate…?

Q. I struggle so much with investing time to meet new people and develop intimate relationships because life is so busy. Do you have tips or tricks to invest more time/energy in your sex life?   A. First things first, what do you want?  Is it casual sex, or building a…